Air Bound

9

AIRIANA had never been so terrified in her life. She wanted to be back on the ship, fighting a dozen armed men rather than swimming in a dark, cold ocean in the dead of night. She wasn’t a strong swimmer. She wasn’t even a swimmer at all. She didn’t go into the water. She’d never learned to swim. She might put her toes in the water, but never her face. And she didn’t breathe into tanks. She didn’t know how.

You’re psyching yourself out again. Just breathe the way I showed you. There was a trace of amusement in his voice.

She didn’t find anything funny about the situation at all. This is insanity.

It’s an adventure. Just keep moving.

She didn’t have a choice. He had tied them together, hooking a line from his belt to hers. He was a strong swimmer and was practically towing her through the water. She did her best not to panic, but every so often she couldn’t remember how to breathe and he would stop and hold her, talking softly in her mind and showing her how until the panic subsided and she could use the equipment.

Are we almost there? She felt like a little child in the family car asking every ten minutes when they’d arrive at their cross-country destination.

We’ve been in the water about ten minutes. You’re asking me every ninety seconds. This time there was no mistaking the laughter.

There was no way that was true. She was certain they’d been hours in the water. She was so cold she couldn’t stop shaking. And the terror didn’t go away, it only increased the longer she was underwater.

I don’t think you’re funny. I want to surface. She knew she had a knife strapped to her suit and she was going to find the darn thing, cut herself loose and just swim without him to the surface.

She stopped kicking and felt her tool belt, searching for the knife. Instantly his hand clamped down on hers. She was always that little bit shocked at how strong he was. His arm circled her waist and he removed the knife from her hand.

Two more minutes, honey. That’s it. I’m sorry I teased you. The sub’s just ahead of us.

She clung to him for a moment, afraid she couldn’t even last two more minutes. She just wanted to go home. To be in her house. Her bed. She wasn’t the adventurous type.

Two minutes, Airiana. I promise.

She nodded her understanding and reluctantly let him go. He turned her in the direction they were swimming and set off again, using stronger strokes to cut through the water. She tried to do the same, mimicking his actions, struggling not to cry and to keep the air moving in her lungs. Her tendency was to try to hold her breath. It didn’t help that tears clogged her throat and burned behind her eyes.

Can you see the lights just ahead?

She detested being such a baby. She should have learned to swim in spite of her mother’s absolute panic every time they were near water. Marina had nearly drowned as a child and she’d never gotten over the fear. She’d never wanted Airiana to get even close to a large body of water.

I’m sorry, Maxim. I can’t seem to overcome my fear of the water. She felt childish and silly beside a man who seemed to be able to do everything and do it well. You don’t seem to be afraid of anything.

Of course I’m afraid. Maxim glanced at her.

She had no idea how afraid he was—of her, of what she was, of who she was. Meeting her and spending such an intense twenty-four hours with her had bound them together when already they had a strong connection. The thought of needing her, of craving her and becoming obsessed with her, was more terrifying to him than anything else he could imagine.

He could face anything, but caring about someone else to the extent he was beginning to care about Airiana was something so far out of his wheelhouse he wasn’t certain what to do. She represented a home and family, and he had long ago, when he was a boy, lost those things.

Maxim?

Her voice was soft, brushing at the walls of his mind, finding its way into his heart. He knew weapons. He’d been shot and knifed and even tortured, but that soft voice was more powerful than any other threat he’d ever faced.

It’s just ahead, honey. You can see the lights, he encouraged.

She stopped swimming abruptly, staring at the small submarine. There’s no air underwater, Maxim.

That’s not entirely true. There are gasses in the water and . . . He trailed off. She didn’t need a science lesson and probably knew more than he did. What’s wrong?

I can see patterns in the lights. There was fear in her voice. You’re an air element, can you see them?

He could, and it didn’t make him happy. Yes. Stick close to me once we’re on board. The sub will take us to rendezvous with a ship your father is on.

The patterns suggest danger.

We’re kind of used to that by now, aren’t we? He kept his voice matter-of-fact.

He should have known that as an air element, she would catch warnings as well. It was the last thing he wanted her to see. She’d been through too much, and she still had to meet her father and listen to his proposal.

All along Maxim had feared that Theodotus wouldn’t take no for an answer from his daughter. He might love her in theory, in his mind, but he didn’t know her, and when it came to his work, he could be utterly ruthless. Her father would have no qualms about taking her back to Russia with him. He wouldn’t even consider it a betrayal. He’d convince himself it was best for her, that he could keep her safe. In reality, he’d be using her brilliance for his own gain.

That warning was for both of them. Keeping his promise to Airiana wasn’t going to be easy. We’ll make it through this if you trust me. No matter what I do, trust me that I have your best interests at heart and that my goal is to get you back home, if that’s your wish after speaking to your father.

They were at the sub’s hatch. He caught her wrist, holding her to him. Waiting. Her eyes searched his, there in the strange yellowish glow of the sub, behind the face mask. She nodded, slowly, almost reluctantly.

Maxim stayed very close to Airiana once aboard. They both stripped and he gave her the clothes he’d carried in the waterproof war bag that went with him nearly everywhere. She didn’t protest that he didn’t turn away from her as she tore the wet suit from her body. She didn’t even look at him.

Airiana shook uncontrollably, and he took a towel and dried her body and hair as best he could before helping her into the soft sweats he’d brought along in her size, just for this purpose.

He dried himself off and then dressed, taking his time, giving her a chance to recover a bit before they faced anyone. When he was finished, he sank down onto the small built-in bench and pulled her into his arms, trying to warm her with his body heat.

“I’m exhausted,” she admitted, and buried her face into his neck.

It was a sure sign of her weariness to actually allow him to hold her again. She’d been withdrawn from him ever since he’d announced what a mistake he’d made connecting them together in the Prakenskii ritual. That was sacred, something they all knew one didn’t ever do unless it was right and lasting.

He’d carelessly marked her, not ready for such a thing himself and uncertain of what would really happen. Now he knew. He just grew more obsessed with her. That—and caring more for her. He lifted her in his arms and took her through the hatch into the narrow passageway.

“Maxim.” One of the few men he ever acknowledged he felt friendship toward greeted him. “Is she all right?”

Valentin Blatov was older than Maxim by a few years and he’d tried to look out for the younger boys in the training school. Maxim had learned to distrust anyone friendly very early on, but Valentin had proved to be the real thing, a rarity among those teaching or the older boys who were given orders to make the younger boys stronger.

“She doesn’t swim, Valentin,” Maxim admitted. “She needs a warm bed and maybe something hot to drink. A little food. She’ll be good.”

“We’ll get under way immediately. Any trouble?”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.” He liked Valentin, but that didn’t mean he would trust those children to him—or to anyone else but his brothers.

Valentin took the war bag from his hand and led the way a short distance to another hatch. “It’s as comfortable as we could make it. Quarters are small. We don’t have much room.”

“This is fine,” Maxim said, and ducked a little to take Airiana inside. She hadn’t lifted her head from where it was buried in his neck. He reached for the bag, blocking the hatch so Valentin couldn’t step inside. “Thanks. If you could send us some hot drinks, Val, I’d really appreciate it.”

Valentin nodded and turned to leave. Maxim closed the hatch and carried Airiana to the small bed. He only had to take three short steps. “Val wasn’t kidding when he said there was little room. I hope you’re not claustrophobic.”

She sighed and lifted her head reluctantly. “If I am, I’ll never admit it, not after you having to haul me through the water, with me forgetting how to use a tank every few minutes.”

“You didn’t forget, you panicked,” he corrected.

“Yeah. Thanks for pointing that out. You don’t have to be so literal.” She scooted across the bed to the wall, drew up her knees and wrapped her arms around her legs, a position he was coming to know was comforting to her. She rested her chin on top of her knees and regarded him with her blue eyes.

“This can’t be easy for you.”

He shrugged. He didn’t want her sympathy. He was the one who had kidnapped her from her home and taken her on a rather harrowing journey. He’d killed people in front of her and exposed her to a ruthless human trafficking ring. He’d even made her swim underwater when she was terrified.

“It’s a job, Airiana. It’s what I do.”

“Quite frankly, Maxim, your job sucks.” She kept her eyes glued to his. “Do you like what you do?”

“What the hell kind of question is that?” he snapped. He wanted to turn away, but it was impossible, he was already falling into all that blue.

“Aren’t people supposed to like what they do?” She shrugged. “Is it so difficult to answer? You’ve obviously been doing this kind of work a long time, you’re good at it, but is it what you want to do?”

“It’s what I’m trained for. I’m more than good at it.”

“That doesn’t answer the question,” she persisted.

“Damn it, Airiana, I don’t have a choice. I’m not like other people, who can choose what they want to do. I was taken from my home as a child and trained to be a covert operative. I assassinate drug lords, heads of state, anyone my government wants out of their way. I kill people for a living. I seduce women and torture men. I climb into bed with the worst kind of depraved human beings in order to get close to my target. I turn a blind eye to victims, and when set on a path I don’t stop until the job is done. That’s my job, it’s what I do, and it’s who I am.”

“Actually, it’s not,” Airiana said.

She didn’t look in the least bit disturbed by his outburst. His voice had been low, but it was a whiplash, designed to stop all conversation. He couldn’t believe he’d even admitted such things to her. By rights he should kill her and throw her in the sea to protect himself, his identity and his remaining brothers, who were still at risk.

She patted the spot on the bed beside her, those clear blue eyes beckoning him. “You’re tired, Maxim. You may not recognize that you are, but I can see it. Come sit down and stop prowling like a caged tiger.”

“You do realize that I kill people, Airiana. Being in the same room with me and baiting me isn’t a very smart move.”

She patted the bed again. “You’re no danger to me and we both know it. Now you’re the one being silly. Come sit down.” She flashed a small, wan smile. “I won’t bite you.”

No, but she could see right through him, and that was far more dangerous than a bite. Fortunately someone banged on the hatch. He sent her one quelling look and pulled a pistol from his war bag. Standing to one side, he slowly opened the hatch, ready for anything.

“Don’t shoot me, Max,” Valentin said, and slowly stuck his head inside the cabin.

They had a code they always used. If they were alone and all was well, Maxim was “Max” and Valentin was “Val.” Still, Maxim always remained cautious—and suspicious—it was what kept him alive.

Get the coffee, honey, and leave me a clear shot, just to be safe.

Airiana stood up without protest and took the two mugs of hot coffee from Valentin. “Thank you, I really need this,” she said.

Valentin smiled at her and gave a small bow. “I’m Val, an old friend of Max’s.”

“Airiana,” she said, and offered her hand.

Maxim’s breath hissed out between his teeth. Never let someone touch you like that. He could pull you into him and use you as a shield, he reprimanded, his voice harsher than he intended. He’d forgotten how charming Valentin could be around women.

Valentin merely took Airiana’s hand and raised it to his mouth. Maxim resisted pulling the trigger.

“You can leave any time, old friend,” he snapped at Valentin.

The man grinned at him and held Airiana’s hand a little bit too long—deliberately now that he knew he was getting to Maxim.

“I’ve got a gun,” he felt compelled to point out.

Valentin burst out laughing, but he let go of Airiana and backed out of the room. Maxim resisted the urge to kick the hatch closed after him. Shoving the pistol in his belt at the small of his back, he took both coffee mugs from her and yanked her into his arms. She gave a startled little yelp. He didn’t care. He bunched her thick hair in his fist and forced her to look up at him. Already his mouth was descending.

He kissed her long. Thoroughly. Over and over. Demanding compliance. He felt a bit like a drowning man going under for the last time, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the feel of her slender body tight against him and the taste of her on his tongue, filling his body and soul with . . . her. Just her.

When he lifted his head, she blinked at him, her eyes a little glazed, her mouth swollen from his kisses, her breathing ragged. Both of her hands had found his shirt, clutching there for stability.

“What was that for?” she asked, touching her lips.

“For driving me mad. Get on the damn bed and drink your coffee.”

She blinked again, those long feathery lashes that tempted him to start all over again, but she complied with his order, scooting back to the original position she favored. He handed her the coffee mug and sank down beside her, his back to the wall, his thigh pressed tight against hers.

She sipped at the hot liquid and leaned her head against his shoulder. “It’s not who you are, Maxim, no matter what you say. Saying it doesn’t make it so.”

He turned his head to glare at her. She had her eyes closed, and she looked small and vulnerable, nestling into him for protection, if not comfort. He couldn’t yell at her for wanting to save him. He could tell her it wasn’t possible, but the truth was, he couldn’t help the small thrill Airiana fighting for him gave him.

He took a drink of coffee to keep from kissing her. If he kissed her again, he wasn’t going to stop and it wouldn’t be fair to her. He would see this thing through and then he’d disappear.

“When you talk to me, mind to mind, I can see inside you. I also see the things you do and how those children affected you. You’re not a killer, Maxim. Not at all. You kill, but that isn’t who you are.”

Her voice sounded drowsy, sexy. His body tightened. He wondered if he could be a rapist on top of all his other sins. “You’re falling asleep.”

“I don’t want to. I have nightmares. Really bad nightmares. Do you?” She took another sip of coffee, more for warmth than the stimulant.

He wished he had nightmares. Maybe he’d feel more human. As it was he felt he’d lost all humanity years earlier and all that was left of him was a machine programmed to kill. “No.” But he didn’t sleep. And never with another person in the room with him. That would be far too dangerous.

“Just stop.”

His eyebrow shot up. He looked down at her again. She hadn’t opened her eyes. “Excuse me?”

“Your job. Just walk away from it. Levi and Thomas did. You could too. You don’t need to do what they tell you if you don’t like it—and clearly you don’t. Everyone has a choice, Maxim, even you.”

“Levi and Thomas disappeared because everyone believes them to be dead. If anyone realized they were still alive and living under an alias, ten hit men would show up and wipe out everyone on that farm. I can’t very well add to the danger to everyone there, now can I?” And what would be the use of retiring if he didn’t have a place to retire to—or someone to retire for?

As if she read his mind she turned her head and looked up at him. “You can do anything you want to do, Maxim.” Her lashes fluttered again.

He took the mug from her hands and set it aside. At least she wasn’t shaking anymore. “Lie down. You don’t have to go to sleep, and I’ll be here with you.”

She simply shifted positions, using his thighs for her pillow, curling up into a little ball, her knees drawn up and her arms circling his thigh.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m making certain you’re not going to leave me if I do fall asleep.”

He stroked his hand through her hair, unable to stop himself. It was soft and silky and felt all too sensual against his bare palm. His entire body felt tight, hot and needy. He didn’t mind in the least. It was a natural reaction to a woman—one that wasn’t contrived or deliberate, but real—and that was the trouble with Airiana.

She was real to him. Flesh and blood. A person. He couldn’t walk away from the emotions she stirred in him. He hadn’t even realized he was capable of feeling the depths of positive emotions, or the intensity he did until he met her. He wanted to protect her, even from her own father. He was a patriot, and yet he wasn’t going to allow his country to keep her prisoner.

He had a temper, boiling beneath the surface but held in check. That rage had never gone away. He closed his eyes, tangling his fingers in her hair, trying not to see the images of his mother’s blood in the white snow, or hear the cries of the baby, Ilya, as the soldiers took him. He had told her the truth—he didn’t have nightmares—but he slept lightly, and those memories of the soldiers tearing his family apart had never left him.

He knew each of them handled the loss in their own way. His way had been savage and relentless. Merciless. He found them, years later, when he was old enough and strong enough and trained enough. He cared little that they had been under orders. They had murdered his parents and taken his brothers from him.

That had been the first time he had ever run across his eldest brother, Viktor. Viktor had also hunted down the soldiers who had murdered their family, one by one, just as Maxim had done. Viktor had spent years finding each of the men and had systematically been killing them with accidents, nothing that could ever be traced back to the Prakenskii family or what had happened to them. He had bided his time, taking only a couple of them a year.

Viktor had been the one to teach him patience and how it didn’t matter how long it took—if he was careful, he would triumph in the end. His brother hadn’t wanted the men killed in a way that would point back to them, because more than anything, he wanted to find the man responsible for the orders. He wanted the man who had feared their father so much that he had ordered the murders for “political” reasons.

Maxim and Viktor were careful never to meet in person after that. The brothers had a way to get messages to one another, but the man behind their father’s murder had so much power, they knew he would use them against one another given the opportunity.

“Who’s Viktor?” Airiana murmured without opening her eyes.

The question startled Maxim. His hand paused the long, stroking caresses in her hair. “Why do you ask?” he said carefully.

“You were so deep in thought the name just appeared in my head.” She hesitated, clearly weighing how much to tell him. “Along with images.”

“What images?”

She turned her head and opened her eyes. “Your parents were murdered just like my mother was. There was snow. A child was crying. You were boys and all of you fought, trying to get to the youngest, but they took him away.”

His throat felt clogged for a moment. “They separated us. They feared us as individuals, so you can imagine how terrified they were of us being together. I think the original idea was to kill us, but then someone decided we could be useful if we were trained properly and our loyalties were to the man handing out the orders.”

She lifted her head and pressed a kiss against his thigh before lying back down. His heart gave a peculiar leap and stuttered for just a moment as if that kiss had sent an electrical charge right through the material of his trousers, into his skin and through his bloodstream, straight to his beating heart.

The gesture wasn’t in the least sensual—or meant to be flirtatious. She was offering him comfort. Caring. She offered him something he hadn’t had before, not since his mother died. There was a part of him that wanted to push her away from him, the threat to him all too real. The other part wanted to gather her closer and hold her to him, to let himself believe his life could be different with her in it.

“Viktor was my oldest brother.”

“Is he still alive?”

Her hand began a slow rub along his thigh. He’d never been so aware of another human being—or his own body—in his life.

“I don’t know.” It was true and yet not the truth. The last time he’d had contact with Viktor had been weeks earlier, but he was deep undercover and that meant he could be killed any time.

She sighed. “Your life is sad, Maxim. I thought my life was sad, and that I could never pick up the pieces and start fresh, but then I met these five wonderful women. They changed my life. They changed me.”

She looked up at him with those startling blue eyes. Midnight blue now. Dark and mysterious. Eyes a man might get lost in forever.

“You could come home with me. Sea Haven is a magical place and people accept who you are. You can start fresh there.”

“I’m not a puppy, Airiana. You can’t just bring me home.”

“Why not? Why can’t I? You need a place to start over. You saved me from those awful men. You saved the children. Why can’t I save you?”

“I would want a hell of a lot more from you than a puppy would want,” he snapped. “Damn it, just go to sleep. You’re driving me crazy. Do you realize the position you’re in? You’re here alone with me and you’re all but offering yourself to me. At least that’s how it looks from where I am. You can’t do things like that.”

The warning tumbled out before he could stop it. She really was driving him absolutely mad. What was she thinking, telling him he could come home with her? She didn’t know a thing about him. She might be the most intelligent woman on the planet but she had no common sense at all.

“Maxim.”

Just his name. Just like before. In that soft, velvet voice that suggested candlelight and silk. Or maybe it was all him and he just wanted to hear her that way.

“Don’t, Airiana, I’m telling you it isn’t safe.”

“And I’m telling you that you’re safe. No one is going to hurt you. Not like that. Not if I can help it.” She sat up, coming up on her knees and framing his face with both hands. “I don’t know why I feel this way about you. It’s strong and real, and even if you don’t feel the same way, that doesn’t stop how I feel.”

He started to pull away, but couldn’t make himself do it. It was far too tempting to fall into her eyes even further.

“You don’t want to be close to anyone or chance having a family because someone took it from you. I know that feeling. My sisters know that feeling. The pain. The rage. The fear of ever feeling such raw pain again. But I won’t let it happen to you. I’ll keep you safe there, Maxim. Don’t go back to this life. Come home with me and just try to live. Find a way to live. It’s a choice.”

He drew in a breath when he was certain there was no more air in the room. “Do you know what you’re offering? Airiana, you can’t tempt a man like me.”

“Why not? You deserve to live a life, a real one, Maxim.”

“Because if you were mine, I’d never let you go. I’d hold on to you with the very last breath in my body. You’re a free spirit, soaring high above me. You’re wild, like the wind, and the wind can’t be caged.”

“Everything I do is a choice I make for myself. You’re my choice.”

He shook his head. “Don’t you know anything at all about yourself? Or about men? Especially a man like me? You’re that woman. The real thing, the kind a man dreams of, or in my case, doesn’t dare let himself dream of. Men like me, we don’t have families.”

“Your father did. Your brothers do. Once I asked you what you were afraid of. What is it? Tell me?”

“I’m afraid of you. Of what you could do to me. I would be so afraid of losing you I’d hold on too tight and drive you away from me.”

She laughed softly. “Listen to yourself. That isn’t even logical. You fling yourself into the middle of a gun battle without wincing, but you’re afraid to come home and just try living a quiet, peaceful life? Are you certain you’re not making up excuses and you really do love what you do? My mother used to say, better the devil you know than the one you don’t. I say if you’re living with the devil, kick him out and find something different.”

“Have you ever considered that I am the devil?”

She dropped her hands and shrugged. “Courage is reaching for something different, something unknown. One has to try, Maxim. If you don’t, you’ll never know what could have been.”

That brought him up short. “Do you think I’m rejecting your offer because I’m afraid of a different life? If I came to that farm and stayed with you, you’d be in danger every minute of every day.”

Airiana shrugged. “All of us on the farm have lived with danger. We’re used to it. The thing is, Maxim, I’m only offering once. If you don’t want to be with me, if taking the chance isn’t worth it to you, then you don’t belong with me.”

“It isn’t about that and you know it,” he replied in a low tone. Why was he refusing when everything in him told him she could change his life, make him into a better man, make living worthwhile. “You can’t just change who you are, Airiana. I’ve done things I can’t take back.”

“I used to think I was the worst person on the face of the earth—that I got my mother killed—and I still struggle with that at times. But I’m worth something, and I deserve a happy life. I’ve learned happiness is a choice. Only I can make that choice for myself. I am not going to allow the things I can’t control to ruin my life. I choose to be happy, and no matter what life throws at me, that is always going to be my choice.”

Maxim reached for her, settling his fingers around the nape of her neck, a neck he could break so easily. She made perfect sense and yet didn’t. His life was complicated. The way he felt about her was even more so. She confused him, offering him a future he’d never considered.

He was used to protecting the small part of him that still recognized humanity. He had always protected his brothers. His every instinct told him to protect this woman—from herself if necessary.

“You’re beautiful.” She was physically beautiful, but it was more than that. She was bright on the inside, shining at him through her blue eyes. “I want you for myself.” The admission was difficult for him, but if she was willing to put herself out there, he refused to be a coward. “I want to make certain you’re always safe. I don’t necessarily think those two things are mutually agreeable.”

His thumb caressed the soft, silky skin along her neck. She didn’t pull away, but he saw the hurt of rejection in her eyes just before her lashes swept down.

“Don’t, Airiana,” he whispered, pulling her into his arms. “Don’t feel like that. I’m not making excuses. My world is a reality.”

She leaned into him, allowing him to enfold her in his arms. “Of course you’re making excuses, Maxim. The sad thing is, you believe them. Love is risky. You can lose everything, there’s no question about that. We barely know one another.”

He closed his eyes and inhaled her. Images of her moving through the ship, the assault rifle steady in her hands, her bright hair tucked up in that silly strip of his shirt, went through his mind. She was risking everything telling him she wanted him, and he could give her . . . nothing. But he would never get her out of his mind or his heart.

“Don’t feel sorry for me—I’m not going to wither and die because you choose to stay in this life. It’s what you know, and obviously it’s more comfortable for you. Who knows, you could be absolutely bored on the farm. It isn’t like any of us lead wild lives.”

He didn’t reply, but stroked her thick platinum hair, allowing it to slide through his fingers. He wasn’t feeling sorry for her, more like for himself. She seemed wild and free, a spirit soaring in the clouds not grounded on earth. Some man would come along . . .

His mind slammed that door shut fast and hard. The thought of her with another man made him feel—murderous. She snuggled into him, her head over his heart, her arm around his waist, holding him close to her.

There was no pouting. No protesting. No embarrassment. Airiana accepted that he felt he couldn’t be with her, and that left him empty. Lonely. He’d never acknowledged either of those emotions before. He lived. He worked. His way of life just was. Suddenly, she’d changed everything, and now his life didn’t seem much at all.

He listened to the sound of her breathing and knew the exact moment when she fell asleep. He had to think about the things she’d said. He had never feared dying, in some ways it would have been a relief. He knew only pain. Heartache. He went through life alone. He faced death alone. It was easier that way.

But she had brought the unexpected. With her asleep he could admit to himself that the need to protect her, the overwhelming emotion he felt each time he looked at her, had to be love. He wouldn’t know or recognize the emotion right away. He didn’t remember love.

He was afraid Airiana had found her way inside of him and wrapped herself tightly around his heart. He was terribly afraid that love had taken hold and there was no way to remove it. He felt different around her, even in the midst of danger.

He thought to protect himself from pain by separating himself from her, but the feeling inside of him was so deep and strong it wasn’t going to go away. It was there to stay. No matter how far he ran from her, where he traveled or what he did, she would be there with him.

Airiana was unexpected. She had exposed his weakness to him. A slip of a woman, and she’d shown more courage than he had. He’d known only loneliness, and he was comfortable in that world. He never wanted to feel the pain of losing a family again, and she’d exposed that as well. She made him vulnerable and he hadn’t been able to accept that.

That was what love was. Being vulnerable. Airiana had showed him the way, left him a clear, marked path, and he’d just left her exposed. All along he had asked for her trust when she had no reason to give it to him—and she had. There was no way to hide from himself any longer. She had asked him to trust her, and he’d refused. What kind of man was he? He wanted to be that man for her. The one who would climb impossible mountains and face a future with her no matter what it held.

He bent his head and put his mouth against her ear. He didn’t say the words aloud. He couldn’t. What he felt was too personal. Too strong. Show me the way out, honey. Show me how to love you.

Her breathing remained slow and even as it was meant to. There was a part of him that recognized he was angry with her for making him fall so hard, so fast. For offering him a way out, something he would think about endlessly. She had made certain he would feel every lonely moment without her for the rest of his life. Worse, she actually had made him question his motives.