A Twist of the Knife

A very sexy revenge

He saw her and beamed as he staggered down the aisle of the packed aircraft, towing his holdall which bashed into all the other passengers’ ankles. She was fit: slender and beautiful with long blonde hair cut elegantly, and smartly dressed. And she was sitting in his seat.

She saw him too, and hoped to hell the dishevelled, drunk-looking slob in the crumpled tan suit wasn’t heading for her row, then focused back on her crime novel. She smelled the fumes of alcohol before she heard his voice.

‘S’cuse me, you’re in my seat!’

She held up her ticket stub, barely glancing at him. ‘14A,’ she said, and turned back to her novel.

He squinted at his own ticket. ‘Mea culpa!’ he said. ‘I’m 14B. Next to you!’

He tugged open the overhead locker, and saw the large pink carrier bag. ‘Is that yours?’ he asked her.

She nodded, barely looking up from her book.

‘I’ll be careful not to crush it.’ He lifted it out, hefted his bag in first, then held up the large, almost weightless carrier. On the outside was printed Agent Provocateur.

‘Sexy underwear, is it?’ he said, squeezing his bulky frame into the seat beside her. She smelled fragrant. He reeked of booze and stale smoke.

‘You could sit in the aisle seat — it would give us more space,’ she said.

‘Nah, this is cosier!’ He gave her a wink. ‘Good book?’

Yes, it’s about a drunken dickhead on a plane, she nearly said. Instead she smiled pleasantly and said, ‘I’ll tell you when I’ve finished it.’

‘I’m Don,’ he said. ‘Been in Manchester at a business fair — I flog aircraft components. But don’t worry, none on this plane are mine — so we won’t crash, ha, ha!’

‘Good.’ She pulled her book closer to her face.

He pointed upwards. ‘That sexy underwear — going to wear it for your boyfriend, are you?’

He drank three Bloody Marys on the short flight — or four including the one he spilt down the front of his jacket. As the plane began its descent, he whispered, ‘You haven’t told me your name.’

‘Roxanna,’ she said, as politely as she could, and began rereading the same page yet again, waiting for his next bloody interruption.

‘Posh,’ he said. ‘I like it! Tell you what, Roxanna,’ he lowered his voice. ‘Why don’t you and I meet sometime in London — you know? A couple of drinks, a nice little dinner?’

She looked down at his wedding ring, and said pointedly, ‘Would your wife be joining us?’

‘Nah, that’s over. Well, it’s on the rocks. She doesn’t understand me, you see.’

After the engines had been switched off, he stood up unsteadily and lifted her carrier bag and her small case down for her, then slipped her his business card. ‘I’d like to see you again,’ he said. ‘I’d like to see you wearing what’s in that bag — know what I mean? We could have a bit of fun.’

‘Oh, I will have fun, trust me.’

He held back the queue of passengers so she could go in front of him, but she insisted he went first. ‘Hope to see you sometime soon,’ he slurred.

Not if I see you first, she thought.

The kids were asleep, and Susie had prepared a candlelit dinner and opened a bottle of wine to welcome him home, as she always did. He held her in his arms and kissed her tenderly.

‘So, tell me about the trip? How was the fair?’ she asked over the avocado and prawns. ‘Tell me about the hotel — was it nice? And why did you have to stay on an extra couple of days?’ she quizzed as he carved into his steak.

After draining the bottle, he staggered upstairs, and threw his clothes on the floor as usual. Susie picked up his jacket, studying the tomato juice stain. ‘I’ll take that to the cleaner’s first thing,’ she said.

‘Yrrrrr,’ he groaned, almost asleep already.

As she began checking the pockets, she pulled out a folded square of paper from the right-hand one and opened it out. It was a receipt for Fifi briefs and a Fifi bra in black silk from Agent Provocateur.

On the back was written: Don, thanks for your wonderful generosity on this trip, as ever. And for making me a member of the mile high club on the flight back! I never knew an airplane toilet could be such fun! Roxy xxxxxxxxxxxx