A Planet for Rent

For Rent, One Planet

Step on up, ladies and gents, right this way!

But only if you’re xenoids, it goes without saying.

We don’t want any humans…

A once-in-a-lifetime business opportunity!

An offer you won’t be able to turn down!

For rent, one planet!

One whole planet, with its oceans and its mountains, with its glaciers and its deserts, with its plains and its forests.

For rent, one planet, with all its climates, its fauna, its flora, its minerals, and its moon.

And what’s more, with all its intelligent populations.

A real bargain!

For rent, one planet, with all its history, with all its monuments and wonders. With its works of art and its pride, with its spirit and its faith in the future.

For rent, one planet, to the highest bidder, for an indefinite period of time, no conditions, no restrictions, no scruples.

For rent, one planet, whole or by shares. Whether you’re an investor from Aldebaran or Regulus, or a tourist from Tau Ceti or Proxima Centauri, or a grodo or Auyar capitalist, you can’t let this opportunity slip away.

For rent, one planet that’s lost its way in the race for development, that showed up at the stadium after all the medals had been handed out, when all that was left was the consolation prize of survival.

For rent, one planet that learned to play the economics game according to one set of rules but discovered once it started playing that the rules had been changed.

For rent, one planet, for pleasure or spite, like an old social worker who’s fallen on hard times and who’ll let anyone be her master for a few hours in exchange for a couple of credits.

For rent, one planet whose inhabitants have stopped believing in the future… in any future, and all they have left is the pride of their solitary past to help them face up to their irksome, everyday, xenoid-filled present.

For rent, one planet, for you, innocent child of a culture and race that won the lottery, for you, privileged only because you’re from some other solar system, because you grew up under the light of some other star.

For rent, one planet!

Cheap!

Don’t miss your chance!

Sign your contract now!

Let’s just warn you, in good faith… you might want to read all the fine print first.

Because maybe, thinking you’ve just rented the planet, you’ll find out you’ve actually bought it. For all eternity. And, instead of paying with the credits you’ve rightly earned with your hard work and the sweat of your brow under the light of another sun, the purchase price was your soul.

But anyway… if none of that bothers you, come on: we’re waiting for you.

Don’t forget.

Tell all your friends, right away.

For rent, one planet.