Chapter 52 “He’s gone.” (May 6)

When Grant left that night, Lisa heard the garage door go up and then back down. And then waited. She waited for it to go back up, meaning that Grant had turned around and come back. He would just leave for a minute and then return. He had done that a few times when they’d had really bad arguments.

But, the garage door stayed quiet. First, for a minute, then a few minutes, and then all night. It was the longest night of Lisa’s life.

She cried so hard that her ribs hurt. She had the worst migraine of her life. Everything normal was no longer normal. She wanted the normal back. The normal of Grant being in bed with her, the kids not crying, the neighborhood being safe, the world being peaceful.

She looked at the clock. It was 3:20 a.m. She went downstairs to see if Grant was down there. Maybe he never left and was just sitting on the couch making her think that he left. She realized that was unlikely, but she was desperate.

Grant wasn’t downstairs. She went into the garage to see if his car was there. His space was empty. It was real now. He actually left. In the space where his car belonged was a pile of food, a black square case, and green metal box. Those were the green Army boxes he put his gun stuff in. She looked at the sturdy shelf in the garage. It was empty. It used to have those green metal boxes—Grant called them “ammo cans”—stacked up and some big gun cases. They were gone. They looked like missing front teeth.

Why did he leave bulk food? She could go to the grocery store and get things, so why did he do that? The big box of pancake mix—twenty-five pounds—wasn’t the same brand as the pancakes Cole liked. What was Grant thinking? Was he just running an errand for her by getting this stuff? But, he wasn’t getting the stuff they ate. What was wrong with him? He got it during the day and didn’t flip out after the shooting until the night. So he got this stuff when he was thinking clearly. Why didn’t he just go to the grocery store? What was wrong with him? Why was he acting so weird?

Lisa went back into the house and turned on the TV. She needed some noise. The silence of the house was too quiet. It only reminded her of how empty the house had become.

The news was on. Grant must have left it on that channel. She hated the news. But, when she started to see everything on the screen, she couldn’t change the channel. She felt herself enter a trancelike state.

Things were going crazy on the news. There were suicide bombings in Atlanta, Miami, Detroit, and Des Moines, Iowa. Des Moines? What did they ever do to anyone?

It appeared that China had caused the electrical grids in the West and on the East Coast to fail. The U.S. Government was denying it, but the news said that numerous sources “who wished to remain anonymous” were confirming it. They said that China could take down the power in any region of the country any time they wanted. Any time. Without warning. It was a computer thing. Lisa thought that the lines would need to be cut to lose electricity. There was a computer that controlled all this? That could be hacked? Who let that happen?

The news kept getting worse. The stock market had crashed. Again. Actually, the stock futures market in overnight trading had crashed, which meant that the stock market would crash when it opened that morning. If it opened at all. They said that the stock market probably wouldn’t open in the morning. She started to think about their—well, now her—401(k). It was gone. All that work. Poof. Gone.

The next story on the news was about California. LA was overtaken by riots. There were fires everywhere. Soldiers and police battling with crowds. Lots of people with guns shooting it out with each other and with police and soldiers. People were running wild on Rodeo Drive, smashing store windows and taking everything. Hollywood stars were leaving LA in their private jets.

The government was trying to do something about all this. The Vice President came on live, in the middle of the night, and said that the President was invoking some emergency powers and would get things back to normal. The military was called into their bases. The reserves and National Guard were called up. The Vice President said that all police and emergency personnel were supposed to report to their stations. He said that Congressional leaders had called him and told him the President could do whatever it took to restore order. Then he said that America had been through hard times and always come out of it stronger. The Vice President seemed very confident when he spoke. That’s because he actually believed it.

Lisa tried to absorb all this bad news. Everything seemed to be out of control. Then she got mad at Grant.

He knew this was coming and didn’t do anything. He didn’t insist that they come with him. He should have been more forceful. He should have just hugged her and they would be safe. One hug and they would be together. But he wouldn’t hug her. She hated Grant. For the first time in her life, she hated him.

There was noise outside. People were talking and moving around. There was a loud knock at the door. She jumped. It was Ron. He wanted to talk to Grant about the shootings.

“He’s gone,” Lisa said. “Went to the cabin. Without us.” She didn’t want to admit it.

“What cabin? Whose cabin?” Ron asked. Lisa realized that Ron didn’t know about the cabin; Grant had always been weird about not telling too many people about the cabin. She realized she shouldn’t tell people about the cabin in case they wanted to go get Grant for the shooting.

“Oh, a friend’s cabin,” Lisa said. “Down in Lewis County. I don’t know where exactly,” she said, wishing that she didn’t have to lie to her neighbors. But that asshole Grant was making her.

Ron said some more things, but Lisa couldn’t really hear him. She couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying; she was in a daze until he left.

Maybe she should take Manda and Cole to the cabin? No, that would be crazy.

She went up to the kids’ rooms and hugged them. They were awake and very scared. Grant was awful. Why was he doing this to them?

She turned off the news and sat on the couch and cried until the sun started to come up.

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