Heathen/Nemesis

Twenty-Four

Julie Craig received the news of Donna’s intended trip to Dublin with not so much surprise as weary resignation.

The two women were lying in bed, with only the ticking of the bedside clock an accompaniment to their subdued conversation. Julie lay on her back gazing up at the ceiling, listening to Donna recount her meeting with Connelly that afternoon. It was all she could do to stop herself telling Donna she was sick of hearing about the whole subject. Still she seemed obsessed with Suzanne Regan.

‘Do you think it’s a good idea you going so soon after the funeral?’ she asked.

‘The quicker I get this business sorted out the better,’ Donna told her.

‘And what if you don’t get it sorted out? What if you don’t find the answers you want?’

Donna had no answer.

‘Are you going to let it haunt you for the rest of your life? Are you going to think about it for the rest of your life?’

‘It’s easy for you to dismiss it, Julie,’ Donna said, irritably.

‘I’m not dismissing it,’ the younger woman said. ‘But this has become an obsession with you.’

‘Maybe it has. I’ll just have to learn to live with it. The same way I’ve got to learn to live without Chris.’ She wiped a tear from her eye. ‘I have to do things my way, Julie. It’s my way of coming to terms with it.’

They lay there in silence for what seemed like an eternity, then Julie broke the stillness.

‘If you need me to help you, to come with you to Ireland, or anywhere else, you know I will,’ she said softly.

Donna nodded in the darkness.

The light filtering through the window illuminated her face and Julie could see the tears glistening in the dull light. She reached across and wiped them from her sister’s cheek, stroking her face.

Donna held her hand and kissed it.

Julie began stroking her sister’s hair, smoothing the soft blonde tresses back.

‘Everything’s arranged for tomorrow,’ she said quietly. ‘The cars, the flowers, everything.’ She continued stroking. ‘The caterers will be here before we leave; they’ll have the food ready when the service is over. I told them nothing too elaborate.’

‘Sausages on sticks?’ Donna murmured, managing a thin smile.

Julie smiled too, her initial annoyance giving way to a feeling of helplessness. She could see the suffering in her sister’s eyes, feel it in her words, but knew she could do nothing to ease it. All she could do was stand by helplessly and watch. She carried on stroking, seeing Donna’s eyes closing.

‘Go to sleep,’ she whispered. ‘You need to rest.’

‘Remember when you used to do this when we were kids?’ Donna murmured, her voice low, her words delivered slowly. ‘It always used to make me drop off then.’

‘I remember,’ Julie told her. ‘You did it for me, too.’

‘Little sister looking after big sister,’ Donna said, her eyes closed.

She said one more thing before sleep finally overcame her, words spoken so softly Julie barely heard them.

‘I miss him, Julie,’ she said.

Then all she heard was her sister’s low breathing.

She slept.

Julie stopped stroking her hair and rolled over onto her back again, glancing across at the photo on the bedside table of Chris and Donna, peering at it through the gloom.

It was a long time before she fell asleep.