“The problem isn't me. It's you pricks,” Morgan pointed out again, not caring in the slightest how upset the Circs were. He wiped his lips and spat the blood welling from a cut inside his mouth.
He'd dodged their verbal inquisitions for over an hour while shielding himself from an impressive psychic assault as Fallon and Jules tried to peer into his mind and soul. Then they'd added some physical “training” to further weaken his shields. Dealing with Tersch's brawn and Hawkin's and Fallon's brains was a major hassle. But humor conceded he acknowledge how well the Circs worked together as a team.
“You know, this just isn't getting old. I thought I'd get tired of pounding him. But I'm not.” Tersch grinned and rubbed his knuckles. “Check it out. Fucker's mouth is healing as we speak.”
“And you wonder why no one likes you,” Morgan muttered.
“I want to know why Kisho thinks of you as his.” Jules's quiet voice settled over the group and stopped Tersch's raised fist. “Like you belong to him.” Fallon and Jules exchanged a long look. Damned telepath.
“Just say out loud whatever the hell you're thinking. Freak,” he added to annoy Fallon.
It worked. Fallon bared his teeth, long-ass incisors that should have threatened Morgan, except seeing them made him think of Kisho and Kisho's beast.
“Yep, he keeps flashing to thoughts of Kisho.” Fallon nodded to his teammates. “Tersch, you owe me.”
“Fuck, no.” Tersch glared and dived at Morgan again.
Except this time, Morgan was through playing. These men meant something to Kisho. He knew that. It was vital they accept him. Taking their crap had gotten him nowhere. He dodged Tersch's clumsy attack and spun around with a swift kick to Tersch's gut.
He didn't move the man back but a few inches, but he'd landed a blow. Tersch's gaze narrowed. “Finally. Started to think you were a real pussy. Good to know I'm not wrong.” Morgan bared his own teeth in a smile that didn't match his eyes. “I didn't know the word
'think' was in your vocabulary.”
Tersch growled. “You know, I didn't like you the minute I laid eyes on you, and I don't like you now. This if for Ava.” He lashed out so quickly, Morgan could do nothing but take the blow.
He jerked back as what felt like a cement truck lifted him off his feet. He landed on his ass, his cheek throbbing as he slowly healed. But he knew he deserved that.
“And this is for Alicia,” Tersch followed and tried to kick him in the groin.
Morgan moved to save his dick and ended up with a solid blow to his hip. “Shit. Ease off. I apologized for that.”
“But I still don't know how you did it.” Fallon leaned close and tugged Morgan's head up by his hair. “I don't trust you, Morgan. Too many secrets, and you're way too obsessed over Kisho.”
Morgan saw Jules's eyes narrow.
Fallon continued, “Olivia swears you're jonesing for him. How do we know you're not using him for some other reason?”
“What exactly does Olivia know?” Tersch asked.
Fallon let him go and straightened.
“Yeah, Fallon. What exactly does Olivia know?” Jules asked as well, a whisper of meanness lacing his words.
Fallon flinched. Good. Let them turn on each other and leave me alone. Morgan rubbed his jaw and tried not to moan. He slowly rolled to his knees.
Jules yanked him to his feet and shoved him at Tersch, who locked an arm around his neck and refused to let him go.
“Fallon,” Jules warned and bared his teeth. He walked right up into Fallon's space, a clear show of dominance that seemed to daunt the easygoing Circ.
“Shit. Okay, okay. Easy.” Fallon held up his hands and backed away. “Olivia thinks Morgan is in love with Kisho.”
“So? Olivia wants all of us to mate. Not gonna happen,” Tersch said through gritted teeth and tightened his arm around Morgan's neck.
Fallon shook his head. “Yeah, but there's more. Remember when we found Kisho at the Sunfield building? He was broken and bruised, should have died?” The three of them quieted, and Morgan felt a surge of rage, recalling what Montaña's men had tried to do to his lover.
“Morgan saved him. Kisho kept seeing green eyes, watched Morgan lift him from the ground and take him into the building. That's who put Kisho on that table and saved him. And man, sometimes when we're deep in the mating heat, Kisho has these visions of green eyes. Big-time lust, man.” Fallon's cheeks flushed.
Everyone stared at Morgan.
“What?”
“None of us have green eyes.” Jules didn't speak with the same bite he'd had before. “So Kisho mated you, hmm?”
“What?” Tersch squeezed so hard, Morgan feared he'd break his neck.
Jules snorted. “Tersch, let him go. Hell, Morgan, I told Kisho to find out what you were up to, but I never thought he'd whore for the answers.”
The minute Tersch gave him the space, Morgan dived at Jules and took him to the floor in one smooth glide. He nailed Jules twice before the others dragged him back.
“Shit,” Fallon gasped.
Morgan fought like a man possessed. It was all Fallon and Tersch could do to hold on to him. “Kisho did nothing wrong, asshole. And if you even try saying—” Jules held up a hand as he rose. “Enough. Nice tackle. I knew you were a lot more lethal than you'd shown us.”
Morgan blinked, not sure about Jules's calm.
“Tersch, Fallon, let him go.”
“But Jules, he messed with Kisho. He hit you!” Tersch tightened his grip.
“I said let him go.” The rumble of authority made both Circs release Morgan and step back. “Morgan, my team is tight, a cohesive unit. But you're not a part of us. You want my Kisho, hmm?”
Morgan couldn't help himself. “He's not yours. He's mine.” The gym was so silent that only the echo of their breaths could be heard.
“What's that?” Jules asked.
Morgan didn't want to alienate the team, but he had to make them understand. “Kisho is mine. He's always been mine.”
“Explain the fox,” Fallon said.
“What fox?” Tersch asked.
Morgan didn't want to answer any more questions. He wanted Kisho. “He means the jade fox in Kisho's bedroom, the one that matches mine. My aunt gave me that years ago, when I was just a kid. She told me to hold on to it, that when I found my kitsu, I'd know. And I found him.”
“Huh?” Tersch stared from Morgan to the others, clearly confused.
Fallon nodded. “Guys, that small figurine in Kisho's room, the one Tersch makes fun of?
Kisho's grandmother gave him that. Told him to hold on to it, that when he found its match, he'd know.”
“How do you know that?” Morgan didn't like the idea Kisho would have shared something so personal with Fallon.
Tersch frowned. “Yeah, how do you know? Because Kisho never says shit about his family.”
“Because they treated him like crap.” Fallon sighed. “Look, I didn't want to betray a confidence. And I never meant to look into Kisho's head, but sometimes he doesn't shield so well. I couldn't help it,” he said to Morgan in apology.
Jules growled, “Explain.”
“Kisho's dad met and fell in love with his mom in Japan, where she lived. Except his mom came from a very conservative family. So when an American sailor knocked up his daughter, Kisho's grandfather forced her to hide her pregnancy and break off with her lover. Kisho's dad didn't even know about Kisho until he was sixteen.”
Morgan's heart broke anew for his lover. He didn't like hearing the truth from Fallon, but since Kisho had yet to share, he'd take whatever he could get. Just how much more did Fallon know?
Fallon continued. “Kisho spent a few years with his mom's family. She died when he was two. His grandmother tried, but the grandfather was a real SOB. Kicked Kisho out when he was still a kid. Our buddy spent his childhood in the streets learning to fend for himself.”
“Shit.” Tersch blinked, stunned. “That royally sucks.”
“Yeah.” Fallon blew out a breath. “Look, don't tell Kisho I told you. He's really private, and I don't want him to think I was prying, when I wasn't.” Jules nodded, his gaze glued to Morgan's face. “Finish it, Fallon. Tell us the rest.”
“Yeah, ah, well, so Kisho's dad finally returned on his last tour of duty to Japan. I'm not sure about details, but somehow, his dad found him and brought him home. Raised him right, loved him, and all that. Kisho eventually joined the navy, and the rest is history.” Everyone remained silent.
Morgan couldn't stand it any longer. He wanted Kisho. He turned to go, but Jules stopped him.
“Where do you think you're going?”
“To get my mate.”
“Mate? I thought you weren't Circ.”
He didn't like Jules's probing. “Back off.”
Jules took a step closer. “He's mine, Morgan. You want him, you have to go through me.” Morgan growled, “Fine.” He didn't back down or look away from the danger growing in Jules's energy. The large man grew steadily larger, tearing through his shirt as he changed into a huge beast.
Morgan didn't care. For Kisho, he'd go through hell. And he knew he had something to prove if he hoped for a future with his lover.
“You smell like him,” Jules said.
“He's mine.”
“Not until I say he is.”
“This is friggin' bizarre.” Tercsh shook his head. “Who knew Kisho would go for a dude?”
“We all did, dumbass.” Fallon snorted.
Morgan didn't answer, but he turned when he caught the scent of orange spice in the air.
“Here it comes,” Tersch muttered. “Kisho,” he said in a louder voice. “Where you been, buddy?”
Kisho growled. Morgan didn't dare take his eyes from Jules, not able to ignore the threat a heartbeat from ripping his head from his body. And then Kisho pushed himself between them, in all his changed, beastly glory. His skin a shade darker, hair down to the small of his back, and those large hands ending in claws showcased the predator normally buried in his lover.
“What's this about claiming Morgan? Your new mate, Kisho?” Jules rumbled, the threat clear in his tone.
Morgan didn't intend to let Kisho fight his battles, but Fallon pulled him back.
“Get off me.”
“No.” Fallon changed in an instant, growing several inches taller than Morgan. “Kisho has to do this.”
Morgan wanted to argue, but intuition forced him to remain silent.
“Is he yours, Kisho?” Jules asked.
When Kisho failed to respond, Morgan frowned.
“Is he yours?” Jules asked again, sounding angry.
Kisho glanced behind him and met Morgan's gaze.
The absolute lack of emotion bothered him. That wall of silence normally shielded Kisho's emotions from the world, hiding what bothered him.
“Kisho? What's wrong?” And why the hell was Hawkins angry? Was he jealous? Because that was just too damned bad.
Fallon released him and walked toward his teammate. “Kisho? Don't, man.” Morgan wished like hell he knew what Kisho was thinking, because the worry on Fallon's face alarmed him.
Tersch took a step forward, concern etched into his own changed features. “Hayashi? You don't look so good. Dude, you okay?”
“No, I'm not okay. I did what Jules told me to, and now I'm a pariah. Shit, Jules. You told me to fuck him. I did. We know more now than we did before. What's the goddamn problem?” Morgan couldn't speak. Kisho couldn't mean it. They'd shared more than bodies, but spirits as well. “Kitsu, what—”
“What? We fucked, big deal. I do it with them all the time. Circ hormones, nothing more.
Don't read anything into it.” The cold voice ripped at his heart.
Floored, Morgan didn't know what to say. Sure, he'd rushed Kisho, but he'd been sure they shared something deeper than just sex. He loved this man, this beast before him, with everything he had. Apparently, Kisho didn't feel the same. From the look on his face, he never would.
But that incredible intimacy, their shared spirits. Had it all been a lie, something that Morgan wanted so blindly, he'd ignored the truth in front of him?
Morgan blanked all expression from his face, wounded and determined not to show it. But how could he have been so wrong about his kitsu? As he stood there looking at a cold stranger, a part of him shriveled and died.
Before he did or said something he'd regret, he turned and left the gym. No one stopped him.
And he kept right on walking
Kisho's heart raced as he fought his beast's instinct to go after his mate and stop him.
When he glanced up, it was to see his team staring at him in concern, except for Fallon, who glared at him in anger.
“What?”
Tersch frowned. “You really fucked Morgan because Jules told you to? Come on, man. I'm not buying it.”
Jules crossed his arms over his chest and didn't speak.
The disappointment on his face looked all too familiar. The dreams. It had all come true.
Kisho was a step closer to being rejected from the only people in the world he could call family.
It was his childhood all over again.
Fallon ripped into him. “You're an asshole, Hayashi. And I never thought I'd say that to you. To Tersch or even Jules, yeah, but not you.”
“Hey,” Tersch growled.
“Man, Morgan is in love with you. The guy put Ava and Olivia to work learning everything he could about you. He left you flowers, saved your ass, and nearly got himself killed to get us information. Hell, the only reason he's even down here is to claim you.” Stunned, Kisho didn't know what to think. Fallon was pissed because Kisho had rejected Morgan? Or because he'd finally understood Kisho was gay? The others looked equally disappointed, and Kisho inwardly staggered to realize the truth was finally all out there in the open. Soon the past would join the present, and the family he'd craved his whole life would vanish in a puff of smoke.
“I guess you did know more than you were telling us, hmm?” Jules said in a quiet voice to Fallon, who blanched.
“Ah, well, maybe. Shit. Okay, Jules. I didn't say anything about Morgan's intentions because I promised Olivia I wouldn't. You know how touchy Hayashi is about coming out of the closet, like that's any big secret, and—”
“What?” Kisho hadn't just heard that, had he?
Jules snorted. “Kisho, did you really think we didn't know? Hell, Fallon saw you with a guy when we were still active SEALs. You never went out of your way to swing with women.
We all knew.”
Tersch swore. “I didn't. Well, I wondered, but I wasn't sure.” He didn't say anything else, and then he grinned. “But I guess that explains why he gives such good head.” Kisho didn't know what to say. He'd expected aversion, derision, rejection. Not humor, and especially not from Tersch. “But you make jokes all the time. You're uncomfortable about having sex in our normal forms.”
“So what? According to all you pansies, I'm insensitive. Hell, Fallon's worse than you are.
Nancy-boy is thinking of playing house with Olivia. White picket fence, babies, domestic bliss, and all that shit. Pussy whipped.”
Kisho's eyes widened. He turned an accusatory stare on Jules, still not ready to hope that nothing had changed. “You were disgusted I'd had sex with Morgan. You wouldn't look at me.”
Jules's blinked. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“In that bar, when Tersch left with Fallon, drunk off his ass, and that bartender passed me his number. You were mortified the bartender thought you might be gay.” Jules frowned. “Now hold on a minute. First, I was never embarrassed or uncomfortable. I was upset with myself for ordering you to go after Morgan for info. I knew you didn't want to, and we don't need to prostitute ourselves, period. Shit. Okay, so maybe I was a little weirded out when you said you and Morgan had been together. He rubs me the wrong way. He's too—”
“Dominant,” Fallon inserted. “Aggressive.”
“Bossy,” Tersch added. “A lot like you, Jules.”
Jules glared at them before turning back to Kisho. “The only reason I told the bartender you and I weren't a couple was so he'd feel free to give you his number. He'd been eyeing you all night. I didn't want to stand in your way if you wanted to get lucky.” Kisho stared, speechless.
Jules gentled his voice. “For the record, I could give a shit you're gay. In case it's escaped your notice, we've all taken it up the ass and liked it. Being Circ means we're different. Gay, straight, bi. Who gives a crap? Hell, we change into something not quite human. We have more to worry about than sexuality.”
“Ah, now I get it.” Fallon nodded. “Sorry, Hayashi, but you're broadcasting big-time.” He tapped his forehead. “This whole thing is about acceptance. You're a private guy. We get that.
But you don't have to be on guard with us, not the way you used to be.” Kisho didn't want them to know what his life had once been like, but he could see on their faces that they knew. “Fuck.”
“It doesn't matter what you did before we met you, who you were, where you came from,” Fallon said, and Kisho felt, more than saw, Tersch tense. It didn't escape him they all had things in their pasts they wished they could forget. “Kisho, you are who you are. We're family, man.
And if you found someone who makes you happy, you have to listen up.”
“What does your beast say?” Jules asked.
Kisho felt like a complete mess. He didn't do drama, nor did he put himself out there as much as he was doing now. “He's mine.” Kisho cleared his throat and said again, “Morgan's mine.” My mate.
Jules surprised him again by nodding. “He wouldn't look away from me. Defended you when he thought I'd insulted you. He knocked Tersch on his ass.”
“He did not. He knocked you on yours, though.” Tersch promptly shut up when Jules growled.
Hell. Guilt rode Kisho hard. He and Morgan had shared so much in so little time. Had he killed their relationship before it could get started? “Morgan did that?” Jules sighed. “Yeah, the asshole couldn't have cared less that three changed Circs challenged him to man up. He was prepared to go to the wall for you. Claimed you were his and everything.”
Fallon shook his head. “And then you told Jules you fucked Morgan because he ordered you to. Nice going.”
Tersch slung an arm around Kisho's shoulders. “Dude, you have some serious groveling to do. You're good with poetry, but you might want to talk to Fallon about how to make up to your mate. He pisses Olivia off a good four or five times a day, but she puts up with him.” Kisho groaned. He'd really screwed up with Morgan. And as happy as he was that his friends would stand by him, that they accepted him for who he was, his beast fretted about his mate.
“Jules? What about you?” he had to ask. “You okay with Morgan being a part of us?”
“Seems like he's already been a part of you.”
Tersch snickered, and Fallon choked on a laugh.
Jules added, “But he and I are going to have to come to an agreement. If he stays, he needs to know what being a part of the team means.”
Kisho swallowed hard, trying to stifle his beast's possessive insistence that Morgan belonged to him and him alone.
“It'll get easier,” Fallon acknowledged. “I had a hard time sharing Olivia at first, but now she's a part of the team. We only play with others when she wants to. It'll be the same with Morgan.”
Jules nodded. “That's the way we're made. I'm alpha, for better or worse. I can accept Morgan as yours, but my beast needs to acknowledge him as mine, too. And he needs to know there's a pecking order,” Jules ended with a snort.
Jules would need to fuck Morgan into submission, the way he'd done the others. Kisho understood, but he didn't like it. “Well, this may all be moot if I can't get him to forgive me.” Tersch pointed to Fallon. “And there's your answer, my friend. The king of 'I'm sorry.'”
“Dick.”
“You wish.” Tersch turned to Kisho with a grin. “Oh, my bad. Am I not supposed to make any more dick jokes in front of the gay dude? Am I being insensitive again?”
“At least you're consistent.” Kisho shook his head, but inside, he wanted to shout with joy.
Everyone knew the truth, and none of them cared. Nothing had changed, except he had one more hurdle to overcome before he could find a future of happiness. Now to find Morgan and put his mate to rights.
“He's not here?” Kisho stared at Mrs. Sharpe in shock.
“I'm really surprised at you, Kisho.” She shook her head. “If you knew all that boy has done for you. And to treat him like that. How could you?” Kisho blinked away his guilt and cleared his throat.
“Morgan offered to reconnoiter our situation down in Florida. In a few hours, he should be in place to give us a live feed on Delancey.”
Kisho itched to find Morgan, but he wondered if that was best. Maybe Morgan needed space. Maybe he hadn't meant what he'd said about claiming Kisho. Maybe he'd changed his mind.
“Kisho Hayashi, you are sorely trying my last nerve.” Mrs. Sharpe stood and rounded her desk to join him. The petite woman came up to his breastbone. But she poked him in the chest with a finger made of iron. “Morgan is seriously hurting, and I don't put it past him to be more reckless than he needs to be. You go get him and bring him back in one piece.” When he didn't move, she added in a loud voice, “Now.”